Strange Blood by Lindsay Jayne Ashford

Category: 50 Books

19. Strange Blood by Lindsay Jayne Ashford

This is the second in her Dr. Rhys crime novel series. It was pretty good. Again, it was a nice change of pace from the same old American backdrop (it takes place in England). It was about a serial killer who has a thing for the Wizard of Oz, so that was kinda cool. There was a bit about Patrick in this one where he screws up and I gotta say, that was disappointing in a James Patterson Women’s Murder Club Let’s Add Drama For Drama’s Sake kinda thing. I hate that.

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4.01.08

Category: dribblings

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL MY APRIL FOOLS! including but not limited to: Coach! Jeremiah! and of course, Mr. Fleegan!

 

*****

are you guys ready for another ‘brary story? i thought so!

yesterday a girl, teenager, comes up to me and hands me a piece of paper. on the paper is written:

louisamayalcott

she wrote little women and other poems

(i know, right? Little Women wasn’t a poem. this should immediately be a dead give-away that i should probably go ahead and slam my face on the counter.)

she doesn’t say anything. and it’s written just like that, no spaces between the names. and she looks at me. so i figure, deaf-mute, yeah? wouldn’t you? isn’t that what you were thinking? obviously she can’t speak, and chances are nil on the hearing, right? so i’m assuming she can read lips, okay? because she doesn’t hand me a pen or motion like i should write something down. so i ask, “do you need a book about the author? or do you need a book written by the author?”

she nods.

which of course, helps me. not at all.

“what do you need?”

no response.

“do you need Little Women?”

she shakes her head.

“you need a biography about Louisa May Alcott?”

“i have to do a research paper on her.”

OH MY GOD. THE LITTLE TWIT COULD SPEAK AND HEAR JUST FINE. so now i’m mad, right? because really sweetie, we need to work on your communication skills.

“how old are you?”

“seventeen.”

“then you’ll be needing the adult biography and not the juvenile biography. it’s over there under ALC. nevermind, let me get it for you. we’ve hidden it in alphabetical order by last name and you, being you, have no hope of finding it. ever. even if all the books were painted black and the one you wanted was fluorescent green.”

of course i didn’t say it like that.

then the mom comes up. THE MOM. she’s all, “honey, did they have anything?”

the girl back in deaf-mute mode holds up the book and nods.

i hand her a piece of paper that i’ve written the call numbers on for books in the reference section that she can look at and take notes or make copies on the copier. and i have to explain that no, you can’t check out the reference books.

you’ve no idea how many times a day i’ve had to shatter someone’s life and explain that the reference books cannot leave the library. “but i have a library card.”

“and you may check out anything in this library but you MAY NOT CHECK OUT A BOOK FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE.”

“well, can we use my son’s card?”

“it has nothing to do with cards. the reference section is there for all to use. therefore the books in that section cannot leave the library.”

“well that’s stupid.”

is it? is it really? are you sure? is that the stupid thing in all this?

“if the mayor came in here and wanted to check out a reference book do you know what i would tell him?”

“what?”

“NO!”

anyway, i give the girl the treasure map to the reference section and the mom, after i explain yet again why you can’t check out reference books, says to the girl, “you don’t need to use reference books do you? we can come back sometime later.”

the girl is doomed.

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3.28.08

Category: dribblings

I’m telling you this so that you will not spend a whole year mispronouncing her name: Jodi Picoult is an author who writes these very popular (but very sad themed) books. her name is pronounced PEE-koe. so now you know. and knowing is half the battle.
GO JOE!

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3.27.08

Category: dribblings

one of the things i do on Goodreads.com is find strangers and then compare our reading lists. it never fails that the only books we have in common is the required reading from high school. so after the all the Huck Finns and Mockingbirds it’s usually The Da Vinci Code or The Slaughterhouse Five… if it’s a man. and if it’s a woman? there’s usually a Harry Potter or two. i think it’s amazing. i’ve got over 200 books listed and some of these freaks have 700 or more books and you mean out of all that the only thing we have in common is that we both thought The Da Vinci Code stunk on ice?

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3.26.08

Category: dribblings

sorry for the delay of game over here. there’s been some computer maintenance. new hard drive (465 giggly bytes). i had an 80 gig for a while and thought, “oh, i’ll never use all that space. la la la.” well, it turns out? i can fill one of those in less than two years. weird. apparently? i have a lot of music on here. huh, music lover, who knew?

still, it’s not all “good to go” yet because mr. fleegan just threw it in there and didn’t actually swap things over so really, i’ve got two hard drives in here with the same junk on both, and now if i want to do anything i have to make sure i’m using the right hard drive so when he finally gets around to deleting the other hard drive i don’t lose anything. i can already tell that something’s going to go wrong. for instance, iTunes has already pitched a huge fit… and i’m still not able to open it. i’m all, “fine, iTunes, be a big baby. but by god, you’re going to play me a song before the day’s over.”

but you’re not here to listen to me bitch and moan about computer shenanigans. nay, i know what you’re here for: ‘brary stories!

This ‘brary story is brought to you by the number 4.

so this guy comes up to the desk with a book on rocks and minerals. he starts in about his rock collection, telling us all about his rocks and how many he has. we smile politely and listen as he drones on about rocks. he says that he’s trying to look up a certain rock that he has but he can’t find anything similar to it in the books.

by this time, everyone else has found some way to look busy, so i’m the only one who’s left politely nodding and wondering how old this man is who collects rocks. he was older than me but younger than 45 i’d say. and he wasn’t some kind of geo- archaeo- ligist either. he was just this guy. with a rock hobby. so he starts describing his mystery rock to me. and i have no clue, right? because to me a rock is either really pretty or it’s in my way and must be moved. so i say, “i’m sorry, but i’m not much help when it comes to rocks and gems.” so he says, “well, there’s some of the same rock over there in your butterfly case.”

we’ve got a display of butterflies. they’re perched on rocks and sticks in this terrarium situation. i forget we even have it cos it’s in the kid’s section. and also, i’ve never been sure if the butterflies that are in it are even real. and of course, nothing is labled.

so, i walk over to the display with him to check out “his” rock. he says, “it looks just like that.” pointing at a chunk of what even i, with my meager knowledge of 5th grade earth science, know to be pyrite.

“that’s fool’s gold.”

“no it ain’t.”

mental sigh “i’m pretty sure-“

“no, fool’s gold looks more like a nugget. that has crystals on it.”

“well, some does look like a… nugget. and some have well defined crystals-“

“no, it don’t do that. not fool’s gold.”

“well, look up pyrite in that book and let’s see what kind of picture it has.”

“i did but they have the wrong picture.”

seriously?

i watch as he flips the book and i see the pyrite page and the picture looks JUST LIKE the junk in the display case. because THAT’S WHAT FOOL’S GOLD LOOKS LIKE. and knowing that i will not be able to help the guy anymore i tell him good luck with his rock collection and i go back to the desk.

i get back and my co-worker asks, “how did that go?”

“weirdly.”

“why?”

“the rock he was so confused about?”

“yeah?”

“fool’s gold.”

“no way.”

“way.”

“what?”

“i know. he’s in denial for some reason. even the picture of pyrite in the book looked like what’s in the case.”

“what did he say to that?”

“he says the book is wrong.”

“oh, well there you go.”

“why do i even try?”

*****

do you have room for one more ‘brary story?
you know you do.

this lady calls to renew what’s been checked out on her card. she says she’s got three kid’s videos. i look up her card and all that’s on it is two books. no videos. crap. now we have to solve a mystery.

“what? but i have 3 videos here.”

“well, they’re not on your card. are there any other cards in your family?”

“no, just mine.”

“are you sure the videos are ours?”

“yes!”

“and you don’t have any other cards? none of the kids have one? husband? grandma?”

“no! and i don’t want to be charged a late fee for these videos either.”

“… are they already late?”

“no, they’re due today.”

“then they won’t be late. can you tell me what one of the videos is so i can look it up?”

“last time we had to pay fines. i don’t want no fines this time.”

“right. can you tell me. what videos. you have?”

she tells me and i look them up that way. i say, “they’re checked out but not on your card.” i can’t tell her who has them because we’re not supposed to give out patron’s names to other patrons. but then i notice that the patron with the videos? has the same address she does. i say, “they’re checked out to john doe.”

“oh. that’s my husband.”

really? so when i asked you if there were any other cards in the family you said no because?

best part? her husband was the rock guy. I KNOW! talk about small town.

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3.18.08

Category: dribblings

i can’t remember if i’ve mentioned this. if you know me you know that i hate birds. a lot. i hate ’em all, wild and domestic. i guess you wouldn’t call me racist, but perhaps species-ist? i guess that maybe penguins are okay? i dunno. probably if penguins lived in trees near my house i would hate them too.

and if you’ve been around me in the last three months you may have heard me complain about a seagull that’s been TORMENTING MY SOUL. because
1. what’s a seagull doing at my house?
2. this is proof that global warming is doing SOMETHING.
3. when i was a kid we didn’t have seagulls in gadsden.
4. is one of my neighbors feeding this damn thing?
5. if i had a gun and if it was legal to shoot at birds in the city, i would hunt down this winged beastie SO FAST. and i would TAKE IT’S LIFE. judge, jury, AND executioner.

there are seagulls a couple of miles from my house at the river and lake area around the mall. so maybe this bird isn’t a seagull actually. i thought it could be a mockingbird? maybe? and maybe the mockingbird heard a gull and picked up it’s MOST ANNOYING SHRIEK-BARK? and now it flies around my house singing it’s new song? effin’ birds.

i was outside with mom a couple of weeks ago and i could hear the seagull again and i cringed and said, “ohh that damn gull! i hate it!”

mom was all, “what?”

“that seagull? don’t you hear it?”

“…jaimie, that’s a hawk.”

“what?”

“see it? it’s over there.” she points and yes, my seagull? is a damn hawk.

obviously i’m not a Bird Nerd. and the hawk’s demon cry does sound like the bark of a seagull (not the long shriek, but the one where it does the sequence of short barky shrieks). and i guess you’re not allowed to kill a hawk because they are threatened (which is better than being endangered, i guess.) ANYWAY. you tell me if i’m a dolt for thinking it was a gull, okay? here’s what it sounds like. i looked up the most common hawk in AL. and then looked for a sound of it, and yeah, that’s what it sounds like. and tell me that doesn’t sound like a gull? oh yes it does. it’s a Red-shouldered Hawk and? it’s low on the conservation scale.

not that i would kill it. not even with a golf ball.

now that i know it’s a hawk it seems more cool, i guess, to be tormented by a hawk rather than a seagull. and now when i hear it i watch for it cos lots of times other birds will gang up on it. i’m glad though, that Roxy is a big dog and not some kind of teacup poodle or some other tiny hawk-meal-sized dog. and one day dad saw the hawk snatch a squirrel right off a tree branch!
BOOM! YOU’RE FOOD!

so yeah. a hawk is 20 times cooler to be annoyed by than a stinky ol’ seagull.

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3.12.08

Category: dribblings

i was moxied today. you have permission to be jealous.

i mowed the lawn for the first time at the new house today. the grass wasn’t really tall but the weeds were getting out of hand. they were starting to grow purple flowers. it looked trashy.
first i changed the oil in the mower. (hi, uncle dan! aren’t you proud?) then i had to go buy some gas cos my gas can was empty. so then i gassed the mower and primed the engine and pulled the cord and-
nothing.

i know. me too, right?

so i yanked and yanked and yanked. i yanked some more. i pulled my shoulder out of whack and thought to myself, “ohh, so that’s how dad’s shoulder feels when he tries to start the pressure washer.” (which is why we don’t pressure wash things anymore.) so i pulled some more, and tinkered with the spark plug hickey, and pulled some more and more and more. and then it finally acted like the engine was going to turn over but then a big ball of black smoke shot out of the side.

ohh, i knew it wouldn’t be long now.

pulled some more and the engine did turn over! yay! but the darn thing wasn’t running real smooth, y’know? it was all jerky and smokey. but after a bit it evened out and there was no smoke so i mowed the grass with it. it worked.

while i was tinkering with the mower the englishman came by and he grabbed mom and dad’s mower and he helped me mow so in about 30 minutes the front and back was done. that was nice.

*****

i need to pick out a color for the woodwork on the outside of the house. it’s a pink color now (i think it was tan at one time, but you know how those tans can be so pink sometimes.) and it really needs some new paint. the only part i really dread painting is the garage door. but it needs it, it looks so shabby at the moment. i should really take some pictures.

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3.11.08

Category: dribblings

those are pictures of my uncle chuck’s house last saturday. he lives in ohio.

suckers!

isn’t it weird how the snow drooping off the eaves looks like toothpaste?


marshmallow chairs!

******

ohh, we’re twenty days away from (the Yankees’) Opening Day! so far the Yanks are… well, the Yanks, right? everything looks good, um, SOME PITCHERS WOULD BE NICE. Y’KNOW, PITCHERS WHO COULD WIN A GAME? HEARD OF THOSE? i’m betting it’ll be more of the same this year. i’m not looking for them in the Series this year, but wouldn’t it be awesome if they surprised us all? yes? me too.

on to more proof of dork:

at mom’s coffee klatch this morning they were playing a Springsteen song (“Radio Nowhere” from his latest one, Magic) and i could not stop nodding my head and tapping my feet to the driving song (it drives! it does! it’s NO WONDER it won the grammy for best rock song. he should’ve won best album.). i turned to fellykish and said, “i LOVE Springsteen.”

“oh, me too!”

i was relieved because i’m not sure Springsteen is cool. i mean, he’s cool to me obviously, but i don’t always have “cool” taste. usually not when it comes to music anyway.

i remember once, long ago, i went to the mall specifically to get a Springsteen album and i think either liz or laura (or both) were with me. they didn’t make fun of me because they are used to my musical choices (to their chagrin? probably.), so we leave the store and we run into liz’z really cool cousins. one of the cousins was all, “what did you get at the music store?”

have i mentioned that liz’z cousins are really cool?

so instead of me being all, “OMG I TOTALLY GOT SPRINGSTEEN!” i hesitated. it was a small hesitation, but they knew. they could sense my shame. and when i pulled the CD out of the bag they gave me a look like, “really? Springsteen? on purpose?” but they didn’t give me a hard time about it. they didn’t tease me. see, i told you they were cool.

anyway, i love Springsteen. i do. my favorite “contemporary” christmas song? “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” as performed by Bruce and the E Street Band. i love it. it came out when i was a kid and it was the only christmas song (it seemed at the time) that i knew the singer. it wasn’t perry como or andy williams or anne murray. it was BRUCE! SPRINGSTEEN! singing about SANTA! what’s not to love?
on the other hand, my pal Flippy HATES that song. she admitted this to me.

my love for Bruce is one thing, but when he’s got the E Street Band backing him? I LOVE THE MUSIC EVEN MORE. they are incredible! i’ve always been a sucker for the whole Phil Spector Wall of Sound (i eat that up. and admit it, you do too. yes, you do. oh, come on.) and that’s exactly what the E Street Band brings, a wall of sound. i love it. my love knows no bounds. i even (dare i say especially?) love the overplayed songs (“Born to Run”, “Born in the U.S.A.”, “Glory Days” – that one’s not my fave by any means, but i still love it!) when i’m in the car and “Born to Run” comes on? by the end of the first verse i’m worked up into a frenzy and by the time he gets to “Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend / I want to guard your dreams and visions” i’m pepped and scream-singing along, “Just wrap your legs ’round these velvet rims / and strap your hands across my engines!”
and i may be the only person who gets a bit choked up when i hear “Born in the U.S.A.” it’s the part where his brother dies in the war that gets me. maybe i’ve admitted too much? you think i’m an idiot now, don’t you? fine. i don’t care.

if you were wondering, his latest Magic is GREAT. He’s back with the E Street Band on this one, so expect to get blown away. also, We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions is an amazing album, especially if you like folk music, and really, even if you don’t like folk music. oh man, and now that Bruce Springsteen has become the old, angry curmudgeon of rock (sorta like how Stephen King is now) i love him even more.

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Frozen by Lindsay Jayne Ashford

Category: 50 Books

18. Frozen by Lindsay Jayne Ashford

I stumbled across this author by accident. Actually, I started out reading Strange Blood and realized that I was reading the second book first. So the next day I went back to the ‘brary and found that we actually had the first book as well! This is (I’m pretty sure) the first book in the Dr. Megan Rhys series, and if it’s not the first then it at least comes before Strange Blood.

This is a standard crime novel/mystery/whodunit. Dr. Rhys is a behavioral psychologist and teacher and sometimes helps the police by profiling. The main difference between this crime novel and the other crime schlock I read is that it takes place in England. This meant I had to learn some new vocabulary. Even though the police are mostly the same as here, and everything’s really the same, it’s just called different things sometimes. For the first couple of chapters I had to look up a few words. But it wasn’t like I didn’t know what she was talkng about. I used my context clues. Like when she used the word punter. I knew she wasn’t talking about an american football player. I could tell it was their word for john (like a dude with a hooker). Also, I could tell who the SOCOs were (the equivalent to our CSI or whatever you want to call the forensic team), I just didn’t know what the letters SOCO stood for. Cos I kept thinking of Southern Comfort. So, across the pond SOCO stands for Scene Of Crime Officer. Although they aren’t actually officers like a police officer. They are civilians who work the crime scene like over here.

S’anyway, aside from a few new vocab words the book read just like a regular whodunit. It was good. I didn’t know whodunit until the end. I kept guessing, and I did guess that guy, but then there were other guys, and I guessed them too and had forgotten all about him.

Basically the story is there’s prostitutes being killed. I know right? England with it’s Jack the Ripper thing. And Dr. Rhys helps out. And of course, the killer comes after her. Because that’s what killers do in books they go after the smart girl. It was the same in Cornwell’s Scarpetta series.

I’d recommend this to anyone who likes mysteries especially if you’re in a mood to change venue (read: sick of New York, Chicago, Boston, and San Francisco)

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Sizzle and Burn by Jayne Ann Krentz

Category: 50 Books

17. Sizzle and Burn by Jayne Ann Krentz

Right. So this is the third book in the Arcane Society series (Second Sight was first, White Lies was second.), and out of the three it’s actually the better book. I say that because at least in this one she waits about 100 pages before the characters have the hott sexxx. And I also liked that the characters’ parasenses were things I’ve heard of (hearing things, seeing things) and neither one was this unexplained “hunter” like in the other books. In this book the two sexxxers work together to not only have the sexxx, but to also find a serial killer AND to stop the bad guys (Nightshade, a bad guy psychic organization who’s out to make a super drug. i know.), and it seemed like the book went on for 50 pages too much. But like I say, it was better than the first two.

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