5.22.07

Category: dribblings

i miss you guys. i feel like we haven’t really talked in weeks.

book title of the day: Helen Hath No Fury

***

toonces hurt her leg/paw last week. she likes to get behind the dryer and i guess she landed too hard on it. she’s still limping and holding her paw up all pathetic like.
and yes, i planned on taking her to the vet seeing as how she’s STILL gimpy, but i couldn’t manage to get her in the cat carrier (that i still have, sorry kris and laura). i tried, Lord knows, but i’m at a disadvantage even though she’s the crippled one. she has teeth and claws, and i’m basically soft and pink. you try shoving a tazmanian devil into a box.

so i guess she’s not too bad off seeing as how she can run from me when she has to. although, it’s the saddest run ever. all hobbley and weird. the odd thing is, when she’s laying around i can pick up her gimp paw and squeeze it and pet it and she has not problem. so i’m wondering if maybe it hurts like at the shoulder? but i can pet her there too. the old bitch is pro’ly faking.

***

i went to the local humane society’s website. they have a dalmatian. it has taken all my willpower not to go down there and get a pal for Roxy. Mr. Fleegan said it was okay for me to get another dog. but NO. we can’t afford 3 vet bills, 3 frontlines, and 2 heartgards every month. of course, a dalmatian wouldn’t need grooming cos she has short hair so i’d be saving money there. NO! STOP! FOOL!

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5.09.07

Category: dribblings

i forgot yesterday’s book title of the day: Suture Self
it’s bad but i kinda like that one.

it was nice to watch a Yanks game on tv this evening. and as an even nicer bonus: they won.
which, while true they usually beat Texas, i wasn’t confident till the last out. you know how the Yanks can blow it at the end with some shitty pitching.

during the seventh inning stretch of the game liz called asking me to name the 5 simple machines…to settle a bet.

i love my friends.

(before you freak out on me and insist that there are 6 simple machines, i was taught that the inclined plane and the wedge were considered the same.)

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5.01.07

Category: dribblings

i received 2 awesome spam mails yesterday.

1 was from “connie jacklin”
subject: We ain’t fightin’ these Japs just because they happen to be Japs.

In the translation of poetry, there is never a final word.

2 was from “gong Mijovic”
subject: For a moment she hesitated.

After logging on to another machine using FTP, you are not actually on the remote machine.

***

anyone?

***

the strange part being that after i wrote this i couldn’t update the site because i could not login to the server through the FTP thingie. damn fortune cookie e-mail.

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4.30.07

Category: dribblings

i know! i miss you guys too.

linda sent in a book title: Slay Bells by Kate Kingsbury
thanks, linda!

and from the library: Till the End of Tom

***

it’s been a crazy week of library work, painting ceilings, and then mr. fleegan’s cousin asked us to watch her 9 year old son for two days over the weekend.
that went… better than i thought it would.

the kid loves mr. fleegan, but he does not like me. i’m ashamed to say just how much it bothered me that the kid doesn’t like me. usually if someone doesn’t like you, and you know they don’t like you, you can write it off and be all, “yeah. well they suck. i’m GLAD they don’t like me. now i don’t have to pretend that i like them. what a relief! stoopid fukker.”

but when a little kid doesn’t like you? that’s different. that screws with your mind. “what’s wrong with me? did i say something mean or scary? why does he hate me? i’m cool. i’m funny! i have cool shit like a PS2 and guitars and a computer with fucking high-speed fucking internet! i’ve got the coolest dog on the planet! my ‘fridge is filled with pop and ice cream! i’m awesome to the bone! what’s not to like?! LOVE ME. I COMMAND IT. YOU’LL BE A BETTER PERSON FOR LOVING ME. LET ME BE YOUR WHOLE WORLD.”

sometimes kids don’t get hyperbole.
idiotas!
(was that hyperbole? is overreacting hyperbole? i mean, if you’re doing it sarcastically?)

honestly i’m just shocked that someone would think of us as a capable couple to not just watch their kid…but keep him for two whole days… to live with us in our squalid filth, drunkeness, and in the ghetto no less. it’s obvious the lady is crazy. we didn’t even have another bed or bedroom with which to host our young charge. we had to borrow an air mattress, and then go to the store to buy breakfast cereal that a kid might eat. those are simple problems to solve of course. it just would’ve been nice to have had time to make plans for that kind of thing is all. usually people don’t call an hour before leaving town to ask if they can dump their kid with you.
usually.
like i said, it’s obvious the lady is crazy.

it was a good weekend though. different, but good.

oh. did i mention the poor kid threw up in the car on the way to school friday?
yeah.

9 year olds just can’t hold their bourbon.

***

my phone battery (NEW! CAMERA! PHONE!) died on saturday. i left it at the house to charge. on the way to my parents’ house, not a mile from my house, i turn a corner and BAM! there’s the Goodyear blimp in full glory all, “hey! now would be a good time to take a cool picture!”

it just damn figures.

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April 2007 50 Books

Category: 50 Books

 

18. Josie and Rebecca: The Western Chronicles by Vada Foster and B.L. Miller
Okay, this is a funny story. Wait, not the book, the book isn’t funny at all, but the reason behind me reading it and then the book itself…well, that’s what’s funny. When I work at the library I am asked several times a day, “Have you read anything good lately?” or “What do you recommend?” or “I really like Karen Kingsbury, but I’ve read all her books. Do you know of any similar authors?” And the thing is I don’t because I’ve never read any of her books. I know that she writes Christian fiction and…that’s about it. I don’t know if her stories are set in the “old west” like what’shisname Morris’s books are or not. So usually I ask one of the other librarians for suggestions all, “Hmm, Kingsbury you say? Guys? You have any ideas?”

So I’m trying to read a couple of things that normally I’d never give a second glance to so’s that I can be a well read library worker who’s able to help old ladies find shitty books to read. It’s a hardship, but what can I say? I’m dedicated to the job.

So I’m looking in the fiction stacks last week and I see a group of Christian fiction westerns on the top row. They’re all the same size and have the same last name on the spine and so I pick the one with Josie in the title because Flippy’s cat is named Josie and what a cute name and bonus: the book didn’t say Book 1 or Book 2 or anything like that to make it part of a series. Perfect. A stand alone Christian western. If it’s any good I can start recommending it.

So I’m reading this book, right? And the story is not believable, but we forgive that ‘cos it’s fiction. But it reads like the author just throws the characters together. The one character is Josie, and she’s a badass outlaw. The other character is Rebecca, and she’s an innocent farm girl who runs away cos her dad beats her. The two women end up traveling together…which was part of the unbelievable part. Then the women sort of become pals as they travel. Then they help people they meet. Halfway through the book i’m all, “I guess they’re going to meet some dudes pretty soon? Probably Christian dudes? And they’ll settle down and get married and be all BFF in the old west? yeah!” I say “halfway” but I’m not really sure if it was exactly halfway cos get this: THE PAGES ARE NOT NUMBERED. WTF? NO PAGE NUMBERS? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PUBLISHING HOUSE IS THIS NO PAGE NUMBERS IF THAT DON’T BEAT ALL.

So halfway through I start not reading the book as intently as when I started the book. It seemed like it droned on and on and nothing different was happening. It was all camping and mishaps and helping people and Josie was getting nicer and Rebecca was getting better at not getting kidnapped. So I’m thinking, “This shit better get better soon. They better meet some dudes or one of them needs to die or SOMETHING.” Well, about 60 pages (i’m guessing, like i said NO PAGE NUMBERS) from the end of the book i’m reading all blah blah blah HUH?! because JUST THEN one of the ladies tells the other one that she’s in love with her!
And then the other lady? The other lady is all, “Oh, me too!”
So then I’m all, “Wait. They’re gay?” Yes. They are gay, for the next 20 – 30 pages they have the gay sex every time they turn around (i’m guesstimating here.)

So here I am reading about cowgirl lesbians, completely shocked because I thought this was a some kind of Christian western and Laura, Liz…I swear I say OUT LOUD, “I thought they were just good friends!” (don’t worry, that’s only funny if you’re Laura or Liz.)

“I thought they were just good friends.” This is EXACTLY what I used to say about the Xena show. I really liked the Xena show until season 4 (i think) when Gabrielle was raped by fire and then had a demon baby who killed Xena’s son? Yeah, that whole mess was so bad that I can’t believe there were two more seasons after that. Anyway, I always thought they were just good friends but apparently everyone else thought they were gay.

Meanwhile, I didn’t actually finish the book (but I’m counting it cos i read all but like, the last little bit), not because it’s lesbian fiction, but because it was not that good anyway, and plus I can’t recommend it to the little old ladies who like Karen Kingsbury. (What would the Juniah League say? Lowahd.)

This book was bad. Trust me, the fact that it had lesbian cowgirls is like, the best thing about this book. The rest of it read like bad Xena fanfic. But I gotta say, I’m proud that my library has gay fiction. How awesome is that?

17. Side Effects by Amy Goldman Koss
I found this book the other day while i was reshelving it at the ‘brary and the cover was interesting with this bald girl doing this sort of huzzah! pose in these big baggy pants and I thought, “Hmm. Cancer story.” So I read the back of the book and it seemed a little funny so I thought what the heck give it a shot.

It IS a cancer story about a 14 or 15 year old girl who has lymphoma. It’s not really a typical story I don’t think…not that I would know seeing as how I’ve not read many (if any?) stories about kids with cancer. I will say that the girl is very sarcastic and had a real smart mouth (reminds me of…me!) but that she was actually too sarcastic and not really emotional enough or something. Like she was bored by everyone including the cancer. It was a pretty short book especially for a YA book…those books seem to be getting thicker and thicker.

Anyway, it wasn’t a bad book. There was some cursing in it, and she doesn’t die…so there’s that. I noticed on the jacket cover that it said something about a happy ending so I figured it was a safe read and not one that would end with me pouring buckets of tears out of my eyes. I guess what I liked best about the book was how she noticed that everyone around her was trying to act like every thing was all normal so as not to upset her, but that it was everyone “acting” all hunky-dory that was freaking her out.

meh.

 

 

16. Natural Born Charmer by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
So this novel was a complete mindless read. A romance story with crazy names like Blue, Riley, erm…Dean. However, it was a hilarious story and most of the characters were very sarcastic. So I loved it, and I’ll be recommending it to everyone at the library. It starts out all “Wacky Premise!” and then just gets more crazy from there, but it’s a funny story and like i say, the characters are way sarcastic.

I’ve never read any other of Ms. Phillips’ books, but if I find out that she’s got other funny books, I’ll probably read them too.

Laura, Kelly? Read this book. Kristie, i’m not sure if you read, but this book was hilarious, so if you do read, read this.

 

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The One About Ayn Rand, Lynn, and Larry

Category: weekleez

The One About Ayn Rand, Lynn and Larry
April 24, 2007

hi kids,

right. so. a couple of years ago i went through this Ayn Rand phase (as sometimes happens to even the best of us who like to read anything and everything), and still to this day i think Atlas Shrugged is my favorite book…next to Beowulf, of course. while in this Ayn Rand phase i learned to stick with her fiction because her nonfiction is really boring. her philosophy of objectivism is… well, it’s not “wrong” or “stupid” but basically it’s an excuse for rich people to be assholes. and see, my mama raised me better. and since Ms. Rand was raised by wolves in russia…there you go. i don’t blame her.

i know this because i bought several of her books on half.com. i bought the really cheap used ones because i am thrifty like that. i’m not one of those who HAS to have a new book. i love used books. i love used books because sometimes, if you’re lucky, the book will be written in, and i love to see what people write as notes in the margins and things like that.
i’m nosy.

so the other day i was covering a few of my more fragile paperbacks with clear contact paper, a trick from the library, and i ran across one of the Ayn Rand books, The Virtue of Selfishness: A New Concept of Egoism. you can easily see how even the title reads: Permission to Be an Asshole by Ayn Rand, can’t you?

but why am i telling you this?

because at the front of this tiny paperback book, there is an inscription:
To Lynn
From Larry
———-
9 January, 1974

This is a superb
exposition upon the
metaphysics and ethics
of Objectivism;
herein the word “I”
is returned to it’s
rightful place as the
most honorable of words

every time i read that i come up with a different story in my head. first of all, were they married or dating when larry gave this to lynn? for her sake, i hope they were dating. cos seriously? giving someone a book is a huge deal. no, it is.
IT IS.

because it’s not actually a gift unless the person specifically ASKED for that book. and believe me, no one asked for Asshole 101 by Ayn Rand. it’s also a gift if you give them a book by their favorite author. but if you give someone a book that you like? that can go very bad. i will say this though, liznchris have given me books for birthday and christmas presents every year since i don’t remember when, and they always do a fantastic job. and they don’t even read books. i don’t know how they do it. they have Book Mojo and i’m insanely jealous, especially cos i generally pick out a book for myself to read by it’s cover.
I KNOW! SHUT UP!

anyway, back to larry and lynn.

if she was dating larry and he bought that for her, for any reason, i hope it was a huge red flag for her. i hope she went out with her girlfriends a couple days later and was all, “oh you guys! read what larry wrote in this book.”

“i hope you plan on dumping his ass soon.”

“yeah, really lynn, he’s such a square.”

“he can’t be THAT good in bed.”

and truth is, he probably isn’t that good in bed. he probably has Ayn Rand Sex. and if you’ve ever read one of her novels you know exactly what that is. it’s angry, violent, and borderlines on rape. it works in her fiction, oddly enough. so we can write off larry as an uncaring and nonattentive lover. boo, larry.

so here’s what i’m hoping. i hope that they were dating and she finally dumped him and that her friends teased her a lot by bringing up larry. and that’s how they have to say his name, larry. as in, “girl, you have no luck at all, i mean, jeff was bad enough, but remember larry ? god.”

“you have the nerve to tease me? you’re the one who dated larry ! you’ve no room to talk.”

“…and then there was larry. he was horrible in the sack, but i did get him to write my term papers in college.”

“did you ever read that book larry gave you?”
“oh lord, which one?”
“any of them?”
“hell no.”
“what did you do with them?”
“sold them on e-bay.”
“yikes, who would buy that shit?”
“some asshole, i guess.”

and eventually, because that was written in 1974, larry becomes a funny anecdote in lynn’s love life. eventually her friends drop the larry business and he ends up being a “whathisname”.

i just hope they didn’t get married. because lynn deserves better than larry . or does she?

cos see the other story in my head is lynn deserves larry. because maybe, just maybe it’s lynn. yeah, you ever think about that? maybe it’s lynn and larry. and no one likes them. no one. they are The Unlikables. they’ve no friends, but maybe they have like, normal families? like one of them has a too nice brother or sister-in-law so lynn and larry still get invited to a few things. like maybe it goes, “hey trish, i’m having a jewelry party in May and i’m inviting all the girls!”

“oh! that sounds like such fun! just what i need, a girl’s night! wait… is lynn coming?”

“well, i had to invite her. she has no friends!”

“that’s because she’s NOT FRIENDLY!”

“oh she’s not that bad.”

“yes! she IS that bad!”

“you’ll still come to the party right?”

“god!”

“please? please come? don’t leave me alone with lynn all night!”

“see?! you don’t even like her! why do you keep inviting her?!”

“but you’ll come, right?”

“shit. you know she’s just going to bitch about the wine not being her brand and that the brie is too soft. too soft?! IT’S BRIE, LYNN. THAT’S WHAT BRIE DOES! AND IT’S NOT LIKE SHE CONTRIBUTES TO THE SNACKS. BRING YOUR OWN FUCKING WINE, LYNN. oh i just can’t STAND her.”

or maybe it’s like this:

“honey?”

“yes dear?”

“why don’t you invite larry to your golf group…you said you needed another person to round out the group.”

“larry who?”

“you know, lynn’s larry.”

“you mean larry ?! no way! the guys would kill me!”

“but he’s your brother-in-law, you should do more things with him. maybe invite him to the next game.”

“listen babe, you’re sweet and all, but last time i invited larry to watch a game with the guys? it didn’t go over so well.”

“but he doesn’t have any friends…and he probably enjoys getting to do stuff without lynn every once in a while.”

“lynn. god. i don’t doubt that.”

“honey, be nice.”

“no seriously, that lynn is one frigid, ball-busting bitch.”

“honey! don’t say that! she’s just…”

“an unemotional statue filled with a sense of entitlement.”

“honey!”

“what? it’s true! i’ve never met anyone else with as much nerve as her. except maybe larry. man, they deserve each other.”

“oh they’re not that bad.”

“yes they are! the last time they were over here lynn called you a simpleton for having children! number one, how can you still be nice to her?! and number two, who uses the term simpleton anymore?!”

“well i just think that maybe they can change their attitudes if we keep on-“

“no. it won’t work. you’ve seen their bookshelves filled with that Ayn Rand shlock. it’s not happening.”

but see, in that version where it’s lynn and larry? i can’t figure out how i end up with the book. whereas before, perhaps lynn stuffed all her college books in a box and then in 2002 as her daughter is going through some of her mom’s old stuff the daughter is all, “hey mom, i found some of your old books.”

“that’s nice, dear.”

“should we keep them?”

“nah, if i haven’t needed them yet, i probably won’t ever need them. maybe you could take them to the used bookstore and get a couple of bucks for them….honey? …did you hear me?”

“yeah i heard you! what the- Ayn Rand?…hey mom?”

“yeah honey?”

 

“who was larry?”

 

next epitomb: library stories

 

jaimie “strike first, strike hard, no mercy” pickle
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4.22.07

Category: dribblings

book title of the day: Too Many Crooks Spoil the Broth

meh, is that the most lame title ever? no? well how about Puttin’ on the Grits?

yeah i know.

***

on friday night flippy, her friend becky (not to be confused with mah Aint Becky), suzie and i went to the alabama theatre in b’ham to see the one and ONLY Loretta Lynn.

it was a great show. i think i was smiling the whole time. she, of course, wore a huge fancy dress. she had to sit in a chair for most of the show, but hell, she’s in her early 70s…i’d rather her sit than fall out. she’s so funny and just…i don’t know…precious. i’m sure she’s a handful though, i know enough old southern ladies to know that they’re all a bit…pushy. but still she’s so cute and funny. i’m glad i’ve been able to see her twice now. she’s an amazing person.

she didn’t sing my two favorite loretta songs (“rated X” and “mrs. leroy brown”…but her granddaughter did! and she did a good job of them too.

loretta opened with “let your love flow” which i think is a bellamy brothers’ song, but i’m not sure. she of course, ended the show with “coal miner’s daughter”.

***

i finally got a new cell phone. same number just a new phone. it’s one of those fancy newfangled camera phones. this means that strange things will stop happening to me now that i’ve got a way to document them. say la vee.
but i still feel like a rock star now what with having a camera phone! although, i haven’t figured it out yet. but it can’t be too hard.

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4.18.07

Category: dribblings

where have i been? let me tell you, but first a Book Title of the Day: An Ex to Grind

last week there was lots of working and some Uru playing, but not much Uru playing because of the working. on friday i got a call from my old boss who knows some chick who sings in a band who was playing that night and needed a bass player to play with her, as she was doing a solo gig and wanted there to be something besides just her and her guitar. so of course i’m all, “are you out of your mind?” and she’s all, “come on, it’ll be fun.”

and what i have not told you is that the chick is in a country/bluegrass band and that the gig was in Middle of Nowhere Calhoun County. you can get there by first driving to Jacksonville and then turning left after the Sonic. then you drive o’er hill and dell, past the Shire, through a Stargate portal and arrive, magically, at the Rabbittown Cafe and Fiddler’s Hall. and i’m not making any of this up. that’s the actual name of the place.

here’s the reasons i gave for NOT going:
1. i don’t even play bass anymore
2. i was in a rock band. NOT country and def NOT bluegrass
3. since i’m not an actual bass player (more of a bass noodler) i find it very hard to play bass without a drummer.
3a. i can’t read music.
3b. i’m not a musician at all.
4. i don’t know country/bluegrass songs!
5. it’s ACTUALLY called a fiddler’s hall? there’s no way in hell i’m going.
6. and my best excuse was that my bass amp was locked up at the church and i don’t have any way of getting it until sunday. which turned out to be moot because the singer chick had a bass amp.
what are the damn odds?

so boss was all, “i knew you’d be a chicken shit about it.” and i was all, “Son of a…! FINE! i’ll go! but if i get raped by a hillbilly or a hobbit at this juke joint, OR bit by a rabid dog, IT’S ON YOU!”

turns out, the juke joint was very new and clean and served some awesome fried catfish and homemade slaw. the chick assured me that the songs were all G C D. so i felt a bit better about things until she capoed nearly every song. Woe is the long suffering of the bass player who doesn’t know shit about music. i only knew three of the songs, and by “knew” i mean “have heard them a couple of times” hee. so i kept up as best as i could.

i must say that the singer was very nice and very reassuring and very laidback and best of all, she could really pick that guitar. her singing was great too. and she was very good at playing/standing so’s i could see the fret board of her guitar. that greatly helped.

the whole place was laidback and it was pretty neat because when things would slow down in the kitchen some of the workers would come out (they all played fiddle) and they would play fiddle on a song or two and then go back to the kitchen to cook more food. then a guy came in and played banjo and a dobro.

i got to meet new people and eat some great food and i even had a good time. i guess it’s okay to step out of your comfort zone every once in a while.

so that was my Friday night.

Saturday was the Alabama Chocolate Festival in Rainbow City. i really think that “chocolate festival” is not really an accurate name. so maybe next year the city will get it’s act together and either actually have enough chocolate to warrant calling it a chocolate festival, or they’ll dump the chocolate and call it what it is, the Rainbow City Spring Festival.

see, when i think of “chocolate fest” i think of mounds of chocolate….tons of it. full sculptures made of chocolate even. what i don’t think of is a pudding eating contest (which FA participated in) and people selling M&Ms and Snickers. i’m sorry, that’s not a festival of chocolate.

don’t get me wrong, i’m all for a festival. just, you know, it is what it is.

dad wanted to go to the chocolate festival to see a bluegrass band that was playing around noon. so we get there and walk in and he says, “let’s go find the band.”
and i say, “okay, what band is it anyway?”
and he says, “some band called Distant Cousins.”
and i stopped and said, “wow, small world.”
and he said, “what? why?”
and i said, “i played bass with the singer last night.”
“what?! where?”
“some middle of nowhere place in calhoun county.”
“i can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”
“i couldn’t make up anything this bizarre.”
so i told him how i was challenged by the old boss and i think he was amazed i went. i think he was also sad that he missed it. “do you think they’re a good band?”
“i haven’t heard them all at once but the singer and the banjo player were very good. he has a ’29 Gibson banjo that he plays.”
“really?!”
“well, that’s what he told me. but i know dick about banjos. he could’ve told me it was a ’78 Ford LTD and i’d’ve had no choice but to take him at his word. why would someone lie about a banjo? who would know…or care?”

and that was my Saturday.

on Sunday i played bass on Uncle David’s worship team.

mr. fleegan and i played Guitar Hero 2 at liznchris’s house. that game should really not be that fun.

it was music weekend.

my pal suzie called the other day and said that one of her friends is having a hysterectomy and that she and the other girls were going out to the Villa for drinks on tuesday night as a good luck hurrah or somesuch. i met these other girls at a jewelry party that suzie had once. they are very nice ladies, but none of them drank booze at the jewelry party so i asked suzie if they actually drank alcohol or not. she wasn’t sure either.

turns out, they do.
also turns out, they’re a lot of fun.

so i’m Jaimie, Meeter of People and Week Night Partier. so if you need someone to drink with you any night of the week book me in advance my schedule is always full.

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4.10.07

Category: dribblings

okay, so i saw Grindhouse Double Feature twice this weekend. me. i willingly, gladly even, sat through a three and a half hour movie. twice times. and i must now share that Death Proof is my new all-time favorite movie. i love that movie. i love it so much that i want to see it again. Kurt Russell should win an oscar. Zoe Bell should win a Crazy as Hell Stunt Person award.
the movie is perfect. it’s perfectly cast, perfectly funny, perfectly suspenseful, and perfectly over the top.
best. movie. ever.

****

over the weekend i had some kind of stomach thing. a virus or ulcer or something. it hurt REALLY bad when i moved or laid down. as long as i sat in a chair not moving it seemed okay. on sunday i sat around all day and watched approximately ninety thousand documentaries on ancient egypt. i couldn’t change the channel. i wanted to change the channel. but i couldn’t. and i remembered that one time back in the 3rd or 4th grade i went on a field trip with the gifted class (*shudder*) to the b’ham museum where they had an exhibit on egypt and mummies. i remember being thoroughly skeeved about the mummies, but the teacher (a huge bitch who hated children) was all, “you look at those mummies! most people NEVER get to see a mummy or ANYTHING from ancient egypt in their WHOLE LIFE.”

which is kinda like education through the There Are Starving Kids in China routine. so now when i see tripe about ancient egypt on the tube, i can’t help but think, “some poor bastards have never seen an actual mummy, close up behind a clear plexiglass box. their lives must be completely unfulfilled.” of course, i can’t seem to turn the channel either.

there are SEVERAL topics actually, that if i run across a documentary on Discovery or PBS or whatever i cannot look away. even if i’ve seen it before. it’s morbid really. in fact, i came across one last night on PBS and yep, i watched it. it’s a fact, i’ll watch anything about Jim Jones and the People’s Temple.
other topics i’ll watch every time:
vampires
vikings
baseball
SLA
cars or motorcycles
sarah winchester house
apparently anything ancient egypt-y
manson family murders
anything greek mythology
prohibition/speakeasies/the untouchables
most conspiracy theory junk
any kind of old hollywood shenanigans

***

in other blather:
i watched the Karate Kid the other night. it was on ABCFamily. and jimmy and i watched it together. how… romantic? i haven’t seen it since, probably the year it came out. although i’m sure my brother and i watched it about a hundred thousand million times when it came out.

anyway, so having seen it recently i had one of those “moments”. i think laura would call it a “fortune favors the prepared mind” moment. so i’m at the movies with dad and flippy (i’ve mentionted Death Proof, yeah?) and this song comes on. it sounds like all the other crap songs that are on the radio and then the chorus hits, “sweep. the. leg….johnny! sweep. the. leg….johnny!”
me: did they just sing, “sweep the leg, johnny?”
dad: i dunno. i’m not listening to this shit.
me: wait…he did! dude! i just watched karate kid the other night!
dad: you did? why?
me: the ballgame was over and i flipped channels and blam, there it was.
dad: but you didn’t have to watch it.
me: dad, i know you won’t understand, but i really did have to watch it. it’s the fucking karate kid. i mean, how many times did justin and i watch that movie?
dad: that’s what i’m saying.

anyway, you can hear the song AND see the hilarious video at the No More Kings website.

and the thing is, you really should.

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4.06.07

Category: dribblings

so the other day i was talking to my peeps and i says to them i says, “hey remember Trixie Belden?”
and they’re all, “yeah. why?”
and i’m all, “well, i had to reshelf one of those books at work today, and they’ve made new one’s i guess, but the thing is…the cover? it was…okay first? there’s a picture of her head right? like in a circle at the top? and she looks like this.” and i made the face. and laura (who is my soul twin, so i knew she’d have the same reaction i had) says, “WHY is her mouth open?!”
“i know!” i exclaim. “and then! on the big picture of the cover where it’s all “Trixie Belden and the Mystery of the Fucked Up Mystery” she’s with a friend by fence and she posed like this.”
and i did the pose and everyone is like, “NO WAY! WHY?! OMGWTFBBQ!”
those weren’t exactly the reactions, but it was close. my friends actually speak in real sentences and things, but the point is, we were all disturbed. so here, let me show you the book i was talking about. and you decide for yourself if it was designed for pre-teen girls or for freakshows who want to do it with pre-teen girls. hmm, i hate to see the reefer log in a couple of days.

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