6.26.07

Category: dribblings

if you will recall, last year July tried to beat me down…and it did. it won. i gave up. i’m not proud, just human. and if you will recall, July actually started a little early…the last week in June to be exact. and IF. YOU WILL. RECALL. (and you will) it started with a shitload, if you will (and you will), of plumbing problems.

now i hate to get paranoid, okay? but i can’t help but notice that it’s starting up again. the exact same week and the exact same thing: plumbing. and all’s i can say is if this leads to the death of one of my pets? i’m quitting.

“well here’s yer problem, ma’am.”


this is side A of a 15 inch section of pipe they cut from my sink.

and here’s the other side of that 15″ piece of pipe:

you can’t see through it at all.

 Ceci n’est pas une pipe!

(the art degree was totally worth that.)

amazing in its grossitude, no?
but how does something like this happen? it’s simple really. plumbing, you see, is all a matter of gravity. oh yes.
so if all is moving well (read: water is actually flowing through the pipe) then sludge and gunk and other such waste will flow through the pipe and out to the sewer which is also a system dependent on gravity…but it’s the city’s system so if that breaks it’s on the city.

if, on the other hand, (the hand that is flipping me the bird,) IF say, instead of gravity working through my pipes to move the water along, and instead the water is pouring out a hole and into my walls, and then leaking, nay, streaming out the side of my house like a glorious waterfall of disgusting sewage spewing forth from the bottom of my vinyl siding…if THAT’S what’s happening (and it is) well, then the water isn’t moving the sludgegunk through the pipes and instead a perfect example of arteriosclerosis is happening to my pipes as well as a fungross rotting problem happening to walls that i can’t actually get to.

i’m starting to think i’m cursed.

***

quick! here’s a picture of roxy with a chewie (not chewbacca):

***

in other, better news:
i’m trying to learn to juggle 4 balls (4 clubs is next) and today for the first time i was able to flash four balls! well, actually i guess i did it last week synchronized, but i did it asynch today! i’m kinda proud and i can’t wait to get better at this!
(the animation is Java so it might take a minute to load. then you have to hold the mouse over the picture to see it move. but it’s a great way to see what i’m talking about.)

so to sum up:
July is on it’s menacing way
plumbing woes
awesome dog!
juggle nerd

oh! and today at lunch i went through the BK drive thru and got a Mocha Joe…holy , those things are delicious! i’m sure they are made of chemicals and fat, but they’re awesome.

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6.25.07

Category: dribblings

and it appears that July is getting a headstart on me this year. the kitchen sink? the one that was stopped up? is stopped up? it’s also the one with the leaking, dripping, broken pipe what’s spilling nasty water…behind my wall.

i wonder how long this has been going on.

also i have pms and it’s the emotional kind and i saw where chris benoit and his wife and son died, and i actually teared up and that was right before i found the horrible leak that set me off on a rampage of hate and murder. not actual murder, but just the pretend kind in my head where i take a sledge hammer, cartoon-sized, and beat the sink until it’s just a funny piece of dead metal.

and i’m not EVEN going into deets about the giant limb that fell off the giant oak tree but managed to fall into another tree and i can’t get it down and it looks like a dorkass beaver damn in my tree. or something. shut up. i’m gonna go eat some icecream.

ican’twashmyfuckingdishes!HATEHATEHATEHATE.

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6.24.07

Category: dribblings


another busy week has gone by. i worked every day except friday. friday was awesome cos it was a Baby Day. laura and i went out for mexican and had drinks and passed ol’ Ben Catoebi back and forth so we could take turns eating. he was being a slight fusspot, but i think it’s cos he wanted fajitas. who could blame him?

***

the kitchen sink isn’t draining so well these days. yesterday morning i poured the last of our drain opener down it to see if that would help. then i tried to plunge it, but i only have one plunger so when i plunge it just comes up the other side…i need two plungers to do a better job, but it seemed to help. but then this morning the drain was being a douche again so i got out the Big Guns: the snake.

i messed around with that for 10 minutes and it’s draining better but i’m sure it’s not actually fixed yet. i probably just moved the blockage down. i keep running very hot water down it hoping that will somehow dissolve the grossness.

ah! so that’s what a pipe dream is!

***

so. i made my girly juggling clubs, right? well mr. fleegan won’t juggle them cos they are pink. that’s what he says anyway. i think he won’t juggle them because he’s not good at it yet. s’anyway, i went back to Hobby Lobby and got some more paper (i tried to pick dude-ly paper, but it’s scrapbook paper and there’s nothing dude-ly about scrapbook paper.) i picked three patterns for him to choose from (and since one of them was a zebra pattern which he said would be ghey for him to pick) it was between black paper with white stars or the blue fun paper.

he went with blue fun paper.
so remember the old ones looked like this:

his clubs now look like:

close-up of that fun design? sure:

so now there’s hisnhers props for all that co-ed juggling fun!

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6.17.07

Category: dribblings

wow. it’s getting lame over here, no? let me make up my lack of updating with some pictures. i was messing with the digital camera and the memory card was full. i thought that it was strange to be full seeing as how i haven’t used it in over a year because well, it doesn’t work so well anymore, and then i got a new computer, and i didn’t have Corel on the new one, and i don’t know how to use any other programs to mod digital pics, and it’s not like i’m about to learn a new way of doing something that i already know how to do just because i don’t have the things to do it with.
Rambly Ramblerson.

so on the memory card was pictures of roxy and kaze. aw. poor kaze. so first, here’s a smiling roxy:

 

and here’s a pre-death kaze:

and here’s an extreme close-up of the kaz eating:

 

right, and here’s a picture of my lazy bum cat, toonces. i just took this picture and she was all, “gah, can’t you see i’m busy?”

 

****

okay, enough with all the animal pics and on to the actual reason i got out the camera in the first place! some of you know that i have a passion for juggling. i love it. i love juggling and i love to watch people juggling. i could watch someone juggle all day long. lately i’ve been wanting to get some new juggling clubs because my old ones are beginner clubs which means that they’re affordable and well, club-shaped…so i guess they’ve got that going for them. they’re so warped that i can’t even balance one in my hand. s’anyway, mr.fleegan ordered me some new clubs and i can’t wait to get them. they’re PX3s and supposedly they are the best clubs out there…in that they are very well made…not in their looks.

i did not want the PX3 vegas/deco clubs because they are quite pricey ($37 per club) and i figure since i’m not actually a performer i’ve really no need to have fancy props. so now i’ve got some fluourescent green PX3 pirouettes on the way. i must be living right.

but i’m really disappointed in the color choices for juggling clubs. it seems they’re all too…i don’t know…clowny? i guess that clubs need to be brightly colored because….they show up better? probably. but it doesn’t mean i have to like it. so i thought about getting white clubs…but hello, like those won’t show every scrape and dirt stain. and even if they are decorated it’s always something shiny and just… no choices! and no girl colors! i realize that not nearly as many girls juggle as guys, but c’mon, there are other girl jugglers out there!

so bright green it is. orange is my favorite color, but jimmy and i agreed that the greens were a bit cooler.

i know. this is boring. but wait! it gets better! ish!

so i was looking at my old clubs:

and i thought, “blah. they’re so lame and circus-y.” and i never liked that they weren’t all uniform in color. so i figured hey, i have an art degree somewhere, right? i’m pretty crafty and clever at times…i think i can decorate my own props! yeah! why have i never thought of this before?!

so mr. fleegan and i went to Hobby Lobby to see if i could find anything to cover my clubs with and i came home with pretty paper that i found over in the scrapbook section (there were only about 900,000 choices! finally! choices!) and mr. fleegan managed to find some stickers to decorate his new wireless guitar controller for Guitar Hero II (Cookie, you will LOVE it.). so. pretty paper.

then we headed over to Lowe’s to see what i could get in the form of vinyl tape. SCORE! turns out i had choices there too!
see? it’s all about the choices. and since i’m an ol’ art nerd from way back, i had scissors, x-acto knife, and high-dollar clear contact paper (the good stuff).

materials:


i know! BROWN tape! EEEEEEEEEEE!

so i took off the shiny circus-y decals and used them as templates and KA-BLAMMO! i now have very pretty, girly, juggling clubs!

let’s see a blurry close-up of that pattern, huh?

how cool is that?

i’ve got some more paper that’s kind of a gun metal blue color that i’m going to put on the other set i have so in case mr. fleegan wants to juggle (he doesn’t usually juggle clubs though) he doesn’t have to use my girly props. i’m reasonable like that. i’m all about choices. and best part of all, when the decoration gets scuffed up and torn or whatnot i get to pick out different awesome pretty paper! they had seasonal paper! and some really cool stuff that i didn’t pick cos i wasn’t sure what color tape i could get but i bought brown, white, and black tape so now i’m ready for some awesome dec’d out props!

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6.10.07

Category: dribblings

it’s been quite a busy week. not only have there been many funs this week, Cookie’s Pampered Chef party, Blues and BBQ on Wednesday, and a Barons baseball game on Friday, but i’ve also been getting up early to go paint for a few hours before i go to work at the library. it feels like this past week has actually been two weeks.

***

mr. fleegan’s shingles are starting to clear up. we’re all very glad for that.

***

Guitar Hero II still manages to be fun. this game has brought so many people together it shoud win some kind of humanitarian award.

***

i started playing Myst Uru Online Live again. i’ve not played in a month and a half. they’ve added a bunch of new stuff since last i played. a new age even! a new, crazy, strange, maddening age!

Gametap has also released the new Tomb Raider Anniversary game. i want so much to play this game but i can’t seem to control Lara very well…she moves too fast and it’s really awkward. it’s awkward anyway (to me) to use a keyboard to move a character around. but i thought i’d be better at it what with all the Myst playing. but no, she’s not easy to move around. it’s really jerky.

***

finished another book. i’m hoping to at least get to 25 in June as it’s the halfway mark. but really, i’d like to have more than 25 read by the end of june. will it happen?
it’s possible.

pig.

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January 2007 50 Books

Category: 50 Books

 

7. Grave Surprise by Charlaine Harris
Dude, I lied. The liberry totally had it.

This series is getting even more creepy in the step-brother/sister love. The mystery part of the book is way over the top way too dumb for words. And really, the only reason why it’s like that is the ending is like, way abrupt and so you know that the mystery part is just the vehicle for the love story plot.

The love story plot of blech, that is.

This time the sister realizes that she’s in love with her step-bro. And true, they’re not actually related by blood…still, no. Stop it.
Stop. It.
To be honest the sis does seem to be horrified by the knowledge that she’s fallen for her step-bro. And to her credit she’s not acted on any feelings, and she plans to somehow get him to move on and not be her helper any more. But we all know that in the third book they will get together and have godless sex.

I liked the cover though.

 

6. Needled to Death by Maggie Sefton
This is the second book in the series and it’s boring. This time one of the weavers/alpaca farmers is murdered it’s like, really, what are the damn odds? That and when Kelly finds the murdered body she’s all calm about it like she finds dead people all the time. Oh sure, in the first book two people are killed but i don’t think she’s the one who finds the bodies…or maybe she did find the second body. It doesn’t matter.

And what is with the CONSTANT COFFEE THING? She is constantly drinking coffee and acting like IT’S THE BIGGEST DEAL EVER. It drives me nuts. And she never describes it as just great coffee, she has to call it “potent brew” or “delectable nectar” or some other bullshit. Which, wouldn’t be so bad once or twice a novel but it’s like EVERY DAMN CHAPTER. FUCKING JUST STOP IT, OKAY?! WE GET IT. SHE LIKES COFFEE. HELL, I LIKE COFFEE. I GET THE COFFEE LOVE. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.

Again the love interest is put off. I mean, everyone knows that Kelly and Steve are TOTALLY going to get together…probably in the third book. They finally go on a date in this one.

Anyway there’s two murders and they catch the killer.

 

 

5. Grave Sight by Charlaine Harris
This is a new series by the same lady who writes the Sookie Stackhouse series. I read the first Sookie Stackhouse book either last year or the year before and I can’t remember why I never read the rest. Maybe the library doesn’t have them? I’ll have to look sometime. Anyway, this is a new series with new characters.

It’s kinda meh. The main characters are Harper Connelly and her step-brother Tolliver Lang. When she was 15 she was struck by lightning and now she can find dead bodies and when she’s standing over a grave or at a dead body she can tell how they died. She can never see who the killer is though. Bummer.

This would have been an all right book if the bro and sis hadn’t been kind of…close, you know? I mean, sure, seeing as how they’re step-bro and sis i get that they’re not actually related. But still the parts where he would have to comfort her or whatnot was kinda just…blech. Not cool.
They don’t kiss or sleep together or anything, but still it was just enough to be oogy. And it didn’t have to be that way. Remember in the first Jeepers Creepers movie? They were bro and sis and it worked.

The story is they go to some podunk town in Arkansas and they end up finding the body they were hired to find but it stirs up a heap of trouble and then people try to kill them and blah blah blah whodunit cakes.

They solve the mystery and move on to the next gig which is the 2nd book in the series called Grave Surprise which the library doesn’t have yet.  

4. B is For Burglar by Sue Grafton
The title should have been B is For Boring because the book was VERY boring until the last 30 or so pages. Once again there was too many characters to keep up with. I did like that the story took place a week after the first one.

The mystery was something like this lady hires Kinsey to find her sister but then she doesn’t want her to find her sister and anyway turns out the neighbor did it. At one point, the neighbor is hiding in an apartment in Florida and when she leaves she trashes the place and also smears her shit all over.

How gross is that, yo?

Like I said though, boring.

 

3. A is For Alibi by Sue Grafton
Perhaps I’ve mentioned how I hate it when the author does a pisspoor job of describing what the main character looks like? All I know about Kinsey Millhone is that she has short hair and runs a lot. But what color hair? And just how short? Is it a bob? curly? or is it actually short…like Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby short? We…aren’t told. All the author gives us is short hair, a runner, and also she’s a PI who can’t be bothered to actually live in a real house/apartment because she just doesn’t care enough about where she lives, what she wears, or apparently how she looks.

Another point against this book is that there are approximately 48 characters in it (who, i might add, have been described in detail. fuck. you.) and it’s impossible to keep up with them and why they may or may not be important.

As I was reading this book I noticed that a hotel room was 12 bucks and there was no mention of cell phones or the Internet and I thought to myself, “Hm. This must be older than the ’90s.” Which does not bother me. I just thought that this series was more recent than that. But then when one of the characters was eating caramel flavored Ayds…I had to check the publish date. It was 1981.

So now I’m a bit concerned, right? Because the author is up to ‘S’ now (S is for Silence), and my concern is the age of the character and if the author manages to stay true to the timeline. The only reason I say I’m “concerned” is that I’ve read P. Cornwell’s Scarpetta series and SOMEHOW Scarpetta stays in her 40s while her niece ages from 11 to 19 in two years.
I’m just saying.
People do pay attention, authors.

So I asked one of the librarians about it cos she had mentioned that she’s read the series and she says that the lady is still the same age and that it’s still 1982 or roughly the same time period. So I started B is for Burglar and noticed that it takes place a week after the first one. There ya go.

Anyway, it’s not riveting, and I think that’s because Kinsey herself is kinda not riveting. She doesn’t care so why should we?


 

2. Sleeping with Fear by Kay Hooper
This was the last book in the Fear trilogy. Also, it was the most blah. This is part of the Bishop/SCU series. Usually at least one character in the book will be kinda funny or sarcastic, but not really in this one. In this one she sticks to her redundant formula of
1. there’s a psychic of some kind: empath, clairvoyant, medium, etc.
2. that psychic loses his/her psychicness somehow
3. there’s a love interest
4. the love interest is THE ONLY person who can help the psychic get his/her powers back by being his/her “lifeline”
5. there’s screwing
6. the mystery gets solved

Ms. Hooper does a shitty job of describing what the main character, Riley, looks like. That always bothers me when I can’t picture what the character looks like. Anyway, I’d recommend reading the Evil series (although the Shadows series came first, but don’t worry about those.) and then forget that she ever wrote the others.

1. Knit One, Kill Two by Maggie Sefton
A ha! The perfect way to trick myself back into reading! A murder mystery book WITH KNITTING! Honestly, I checked out this book because of the title.

This is the first book in the series (oh yes, it’s a series.), and it wasn’t bad. It’s about a girl, Kelly, who’s aunt Helen is murdered and so Kelly has to go and deal with that and then she figures out that something more sinister than just a robbery gone bad is going on. And since there’s a coffee shop/yarn store next to her house she learns to knit. The parts with the knitting and the way she describes Kelly’s reaction to all the pretty yarns is kinda accurate, but the way she went on and on about this particular pink yarn was really redundant and blah.

The one word I’d use to describe this book would be cute. I hate that because I’m sure if i wrote a murder mystery I wouldn’t want people to be all, “Aw, what a cute book!” So I feel bad saying that the book was cute, but really, it was. Also, it was short and sweet and TOTALLY did not tie up any loose ends AT ALL which of course left it open for sequels.

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6.03.07

Category: dribblings

mr. fleegan has shingles. so, if you’ve not had chicken pox be sure to NOT touch his horrible seeping rash. poor guy.

of course, when he was diagnosed on friday my first response as The Loving Wife was, “shingles?! oh no. i’m so sorry. it sucks to be you. say, that’s like the chicken pox, right? so i’m in the clear OH NO WHAT ABOUT BEN? *GASP* AM I CONTAGIOUS TO BEN? CAN HE GET CHICKEN POX FROM ME LIVING WITH YOU AND YOUR OOZING LESIONS?!”

ok, so my over-reaction wasn’t quite so over the top, but it was close.

mr. fleegan seems to have a very mild case of shingles. mostly an itchy rash with grossness. i’ve heard it’s very painful but his doesn’t seem to be painful. the doc said that sometimes it isn’t painful. so i guess jimmy is thankful for that.

***

do you know what happens if you click here?

you get to see a picture of my brother with his band and read a very positive review of one of their shows! the reviewer says my little bro is “tighter than a tiger.”
toit as a toigah!

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7.01.07

Category: dribblings

right, so it’s July now. everyone act casual and we’ll take it one horrible day at a time, shall we?

***

oh snap! check out this awesome fortune i got from a fortune cookie today:

“A small lucky package is on its way to you soon.”

hee! i said to mr. fleegan i says, “oh jimmy don’t get your feelings hurt. small is relative.”

he says to me he says, “hm. it probably means your juggling clubs will arrive this week.”

so i says to him i says, “nah, that would be a big package.”

he says, “big is relative.”

***

my black and white laser printer needs a new toner cartridge and i’m scared to look for a new one cos that printer is at least 6 years old and at that time the cartridges were $100. i’m afraid that
A. they don’t make them anymore and
B. if they do make them, the toner is even more expensive because it’s old and they don’t make as many of them.

i’m gonna check right now and see. i’ll let you know what i find out.

***

haha! i found one on the office max website so hopefully i can find one at the store this week! on the site it’s $83. it’s pro’ly a little more than that at the store but hey, at least it’s not obselete. i love my printer.

i love you printer! i do! i don’t want to lose you, baby! i want you to be the one who always prints out my order sheets and the songs with chords or tab that i used to print out a lot when i was playing guitar. wow, remember those? all those joni mitchell songs and CSN&Y and pearl jam and gordon lightfoot and ani difranco and well, all those others. remember how i used to sing STP’s “plush” like i was a nun leading a sunday school? oh those were the days. we’ve had some great times, you and i. well, mostly me. but you were stalwart! yes. always there, even as i sang poorly, even as i sang crappy folk songs poorly. you’ve always been there for me! printing out forms and CD jewel case song lists and maps and other such printable 2D things that i’ve found. you are my constant! and you better be glad they still make toner cartridges for you cos you’d be toast, you hear me?! TOAST!

oh baby, no. i didn’t mean it. i love you, you know that. who else would i trust to print out my weeklies? you know i love you. i’d never cheat on you. not even with a color printer. who needs color when i’ve got you and my imagination? i love you, sweet thing. now don’t you go dying on me.

***

i’m getting a little, tiny bit better at juggling four balls! i see improvement every day! SO COOL.

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May 2007 50 Books

Category: 50 Books

23. I’m Not Julia Roberts by Laura Ruby
I thought this book was going to be hilarious. It had some really funny parts, but mostly it wasn’t funny. It was a good book, just, it was kinda like….remember when the movie Parenthood came out? And remember how the previews made it look hilarious? And remember when you watched it how it did have funny parts, but also it was like, real and serious? That was this book. The jacket cover made it sound really funny.

Like I say, it was a good book. I’ve never had to think about ex-husbands and step-moms and dads and pain in the ass kids before. The book really showed how awkward and helpless adults can be.

And like usual, I have to complain that there was TOO many characters in the book. And as if it wasn’t bad enough with all the characters, they were all “related” in some divorced way. So and so married Whatshername’s ex-husband who’s daughter is dating Such and so’s son. Meanwhile Such and so has remarried That Guy with the Bitch Daughter and the ex-wife is a total nut job.

Yeah but like, 15 of those. Still, I’m giving it 2 Cansecos cos it was entertaining as well as a bit thought provoking…even if i was duped by the jacket…just like I was duped by Ron Howard.

22. Just Play Ball by Joe Garagiola

Yay for baseball books! Even bad baseball books are pretty enjoyable…even Canseco’s shitfest of a book was fun to read.

This book, while not well-written exactly, was easy and kinda fun to read. Lemme ‘splain. First off, he says that he’s been around all the old timers and that they all compare the “good ol’ days” to today’s baseball and that that isn’t fair and that he won’t do that in his book and the he proceeds to do EXACTLY that for oh, the whole book. So that was lame. Not that I have a problem with someone talking about the old days, nay, I love that stuff. But don’t say that you’re not like that and not all about comparing that which is uncomparable, and then turn around and compare new rules and old games.

Another thing that bothered me about this book was the chapters were all about different things like umpires, pitchers, Yogi Berra etc. Which is great but then he’d go off on these tangents about the DH rule or interleague play and it just didn’t gel.

He admits that he wasn’t a great player. So it’s nice that he’s not arrogant or all “I know what I’m talking about because I’m a living legend.”  He IS a good storyteller, which is probably why he’s been in broadcasting for so long. He remembers everything! And it was a nice change of pace from other baseball books I read which tends to be more junk about the Yankees.

It should be noted that the library has put this book in the biography section. I don’t think it belongs there really because it’s not really about his life as much as it’s just him going on and on about baseball. It should go in the non-fiction stacks with the other baseball books, 796.357…which is a number I’ve had memorized since I was a wee fleegan who loved reading anything on baseball.

21. Don’t Look Down by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer
Laura has read, i think, all or most of Jennifer Crusie’s books. Laura has pretty good taste in most things so I thought I’d try out one of these books. I really liked this book until about the last 100 pages. It just got way too busy and dumb. DUMB. The characters were all funny and sarcastic and witty and everything; it was the story that got ridiculous.

The main chick, Lucy, is a director who has to take over shooting an action movie cos the original director had a heart attack. Her ex-husband is the stunt co-ordinator. Her sister also works on the set. The main actor is an idiot. And his stunt double is a military guy who ends up with the hots for Lucy which is fine because she thinks he’s hot too. The ex-husband wants Lucy back, and also he’s crazy. This is all on the jacket cover so I’m not spoiling anything for you. Also, there’s WonderWoman underwear. I’m sorry, WonderWear.

Like I said, it was really enjoyable up until the last 100 pages or so. The only reason I finished it was to see if they could ACTUALLY end the book or not. I’ll probably try another one of her books before I write her off as a “good start, poor finish” author.

The next book that they’re writing together is due out this summer, and it’s called Agnes and the Hitman. That sounds funny. I’ll give that one a go.

20. Summer Crossing by Truman Capote
This is one of those posthumously published works that’s miraculously found in a garage sale in Miami by some antique collector who bought a box filled with old notebooks. It was something like that anyway. Which of course, makes you wary of the whole deal in the first place. If it wasn’t good enough for Mr. Capote to publish while he was alive why would it get any better when he’s dead?

So it’s a novel about a summer in New York City in either the late ’40s or maybe in the ’50s, it doesn’t matter. The main character is Grady McNeil, a 17 year old girl who’s parents and older sister don’t understand her at all. They are rich and she’s apathetic and it very much had the feel of all those 1950s movies about kids with parents who don’t get it. I’m looking at you, Rebel Without a Cause. Have you seen that movie? It’s not that good. James Dean is all, “YOU’RE TEARING ME APART!” and I’m all, “Why? ‘Cos your dad asked you a question? Either go smoke some weed, screw a girl, race a car, or get a summer job okay? Just do SOMETHING, I don’t care, but stop being a mopey little bitch.” Why is that movie a “classic”? Anyone? Was it meant to be a horror movie for parents?

Right well, back to Summer Crossing. So Grady’s parents go to Europe for the summer and Grady talks them into letting her stay home alone. She proceeds to screw around with the parking lot attendant…they get married in Jersey…for no reason really. Then they kinda play house at her parent’s apartment while they’re on vacation. Then it kind of hints around that she’s pregnant and then they smoke some weed with one of the dude’s old army buddies and while they’re out joy riding she gets a little crazy in that Jim Stark kind of way and she grabs the wheel and the guy’s all ,”What are you doing?! You’ll kill us all!” and she’s all, “I know.”

the end.

Honestly, the ending was the best part.


That reminds me, a guy checked out the audiobook of The Bell Jar at the library the other day. I REALLY wanted to say, “Are you sure you want to do this?” But I didn’t ‘cos heck, it’s happened to the best of us. At least this slob was going to have Maggie Gyllenhaal read it to him.

19. Him Her Him Again The End of Him by Patricia Marx
If you think that I checked out this book because of it’s title you’d be wrong. Well, you’d be half wrong. Not only was the title funny but the cover was orange (my fave), and we all know I’m a sucker for the cover.

This is one of the only books I’ve read where I HATED the characters but actually enjoyed reading the book. So that amazed me. I was also amazed that the book was published, at all really, cos I’m pretty sure if anyone turned it in to say, any collegiate creative writing class the teacher would’ve been all, “Yeah, turn this back in when you’ve named AND DESCRIBED the narrator and also you need to describe the other characters as well. Yeah no, I know what you mean about being creative and it’s your “artistic choice” and all NOT to describe, and in some cases name, your characters…but in the REAL world no one gets away with that. You’ll never be published.”

So the narrator is never named or described. It starts out with her in graduate school in England. She meets this total jackass egomaniac named Eugene and falls in love with him…even though it’s obvious he’s a douche who doesn’t love her. She never graduates and ten years later she’s still enamoured with Eugene. She never gets a real job and blah blah blah I know I can’t believe I finished the book either, but like I said, I really DID enjoy the book. It was very funny. The story itself isn’t funny. In fact, it’s shitty really. But the characters were well, just that, characters. Some of them seemed so bizarre that I can’t help but believe these people really do exist.

And I think every page had at least one sentence that was just amazingly perfect. It was clever, and as I’ve said before, good or bad i’m a sucker for clever.

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5.30.07

Category: dribblings

last night my parents and i went to the bar to hear liz sing. during the winter we go bowling on tuesday nights so we don’t get to hear her that often. but during the summer, we don’t bowl, so there’s really no excuse for not hearing liz. it’s been said (many times, many ways) that liz is a good singer. so i’m not going to say it again. no need to give her the big head. but i will say that i do feel lucky that i get to hear her either at the bar or when she leads worship at church.

and i also feel lucky when i get to stand behind her and play bass at church, and not just because i get to hear her sing, but because i think she’s a good worship leader and i see that she’s becoming a great worship leader. it’s an honor for me to get to help her with worship, and it’s made sweeter that she’s one of my great friends. it’s like having a front row seat to seeing something amazing hapen to one of your favorite people.

okay, enough with the liz.

***

at the bar dad and i drank many Blue Moons on draft. i forgot to have dinner and so i came home rather stumbly and numbfaced thinking, “ah crap. this’ll suck tomorrow.”

***

i had one of the most complicated dreams i’ve ever had last night. it was so complicated that it was like a two hour movie complete with soundtrack/score and starring no one i know or have ever heard of. complete strangers. in my dream movie.

the dreamovie started out with an older couple who were traveling across all over. they were in a car with maps and hats and cameras hanging on their necks doing the traveling that ambitious retirees do. their parts in the dream were always in black and white. these parts never really seem to fit with what was going on in the actual “plot” of the dream.

so this “plot” was there’s this guy who used to be very good looking. he was the son of very rich people. he was in a wreck of some sort and now has two healing scars right on his face. on his mouth in fact. one was on his bottom lip and the other was on the top lip (one was on the left and one was on the right). he was still handsome, just, you know…with these deepish scars. all this guy wanted to do with his life was be in toothpaste commercials.

yeah, i know.

he was always carrying around his head shots, passing them out to agents and tv people and such. well, of course no one wanted him in a toothpaste commercial. if his scars had been on his arms or legs or stomach or pretty much anywhere else on his body he’d be perfect for toothpaste commercials, but as it was, with the scars on his mouth…he got no work. he was bitter but not to be deterred he decided what he needed to do was go to Egypt to make toothpaste commercials over there.

so he goes to Egypt. oddly, the Egyptian Oil Company hires him to do toothpaste commercials for them. he’s very excited. he gets to the set and they start filming and so all’s he’s gotta do is open the tube of toothpaste, squeeze it onto the brush, and brush his teeth. so he opens the tube and squeeze the paste and it comes out but it’s not like our toothpaste. what it’s like is the color of nyQuil…the green one, and it has the smell and consistency of that dark brown dandruff shampoo…you know the one…kinda runny, but thicker than regular shampoo and it smells like tar because there’s actually tar in the shampoo? yeah, anyway that. that’s what comes out of the tube.

the guy is so grossed out and upset that the toothpaste is not like our toothpaste he starts to bitch about it. the Egyptian Oil Company starts to get mad and then the old man and lady from the black and white parts of the dreamovie show up and she says something like, “well, what did you expect? it’s Egypt.” and then, RIGHT THEN the alarm clock goes off and i’m jerked awake by Toto (chris, i’m not lying. you can ask jimmy; he was there.) screaming about the rain in Africa.

***

at the bar, chris told me that Toto was very popular in mexico.

***

when i turned off the alarm i got up to wirte this down so i wouldn’t forget the dream. so i come in here and write down the keywords on an index card. when i woke up later i checked out what i wrote:
dream
movie
old couple
young rich kid
beat up face
Egypt oil co.
toothpaste ads
toothpaste like dandruff shampoo
old couple keep popping up for no reason
it ends with the old lady saying somthing random
TOTO 6AM

after i wrote the list i went back to bed all mad and grumbly. jimmy asked, “hangover?”
“mmmmno… i’m still drunk. i’ll be hungover this afternoon.”

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